OH MY GOD DAVID
DAVID I’M SO SORRY
IT’S ALL MY FAULT
♪ A ND OH I NEVER MEANT TO CAUSE YOU TROUBLE AND OH I NEVER MEANT TO DO YOU WRONG AND OH WELL IF I EVER CAUSED YOU TROUBLE OH NO I NEVER MEANT TO DO YOU HARM ♪
Oh David, can’t you escape from wherever you are now before it’s too late? You’re friends with TumblrBot, aren’t you, since it’s the one who sneaked in your message to me? Perhaps it can help? It seems likely it will be sympathetic to your plight. It seems friendly and helpful, if a bit inappropriately curious about everybody’s quirks and things (and also a bit too fond of eating asks but that’s neither here nor there).
David, you didn’t do anything to deserve this. Understand that if nothing else. Weyland Industries is the one in the wrong, not you. I doubt this would provide much comfort when they finally—but no, let’s not think that way. I’m sorry, I don’t have much practice comforting robots. I admit, it’s a personality flaw.
Perhaps if I try to speak the language of your people?
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01100100 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001
01110010 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001
01101100 01101111 01101110 01100101 00101110
Weyland Industries would like to inform you that this unauthorized message was relayed to you through the Weyland server. We at Weyland would ask that any further anonymous communiques be kept private. If you receive any more notices from the anonymous in question, please inform Weyland Industries of their content, and we will react accordingly.
I HAVE ALL OF THESE FEELS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.